Are you questioning the friends in your life? Not sure if your significant other is good for you?
We live in a world where man is basically good. However, there are people out there who are what I call “emotional vampires.” They suck your energy and your love away from you until you are drained, unhappy, and exhausted. Often times, these toxic people are so good at hiding their desire to cause pain and havoc, that they seem so kind and warm on the outside. Don’t be fooled. Use the questions below to determine their true intentions. If you find that they are not making you happy, cut them out of your life. You don’t need any of them!! In order to live a truly happy life, tell them to get lost and kick them to the curb!
Here is a quick way to determine whether someone is an emotional vampire/a toxic person in your life. Ask yourself the following questions:
1. Does this person spread good news or do they twist the fact and always gossip? A tell-tale sign of a toxic person is that they tend to bend the facts to make someone else look bad and spread hate and gossip.
2. Does this person accept responsibility for their actions? Genuine good people don’t like to hurt others and will own up to their mistakes in order to further improve their relationships with their loved ones. Toxic people will play the blame game and use any kind of manipulative talk to guilt-trip you or make you feel like you were the one that caused all the trouble in the first place. This kind of behavior is abusive. Don’t fall into the trap. Tell them to kick rocks and cut them out of your life!
3. What do we talk about when we get together? If your friend/SO is constantly complaining about their problems and rarely listening or giving you support on your life, then this person is in a victim state and wants you to smother you with depression. Cut them loose. Again, we all go through rough times, but if it is a constant trend, it’s all about them. They really don’t care about you.
4. How do I feel after I hang out with this person? Here’s something you can always trust: how you feel. If you feel happy and energized, this person is a friend. Keep them around. If you feel drained, upset, angry, confused, worried, or insecure on a regular basis after hanging out with them, then this person is TOXIC. Yes, we all have bad days go through our own sh*t, but your friend shouldn’t be bringing you down every time you talk to them. If they are, CUT THEM LOOSE. They are only bringing you down in their sinking ship.
YES TO THE YING TIP: Make a list of current people in your life. Who do you get excited to see? Who do you feel obligated to see? Who brings joy into your life? Who brings you down? Create two columns: Brings me joy, Brings me down. Write down each person in the column. The ones on the “Bring me down” column– eliminate them from your life. That’s not to say you have to block them on Facebook or have a dramatic falling out. But start spending less time with them and see how you feel. I guarantee you’ll feel a lot better!
What experiences have you had with toxic people? How did you handle getting rid of them?