I did not come up with that quote, but BOY does that make a whole bunch of sense to me because–

Six planets in retrograde have got me like– WHAAAAAAAAAT!

If you have been feeling funky and out of sorts where all this weird shit is happening and you’re not sure why– you are not alone. Like the quote above, if you don’t get the message, you’ll get a lesson, and if you don’t get the lesson, you’ll get a problem, and if you don’t handle the problem, you’ll get a full blown crisis! SO, who’s in full blown crisis mode? (Say ‘Aye!’ [chorus of ‘Aye’s’])

(Ponder that while I go on to explain why it’s extra funky and full blown crazy right now)

Jupiter, Pluto, Saturn, Neptune, Mercury & Chiron are all in retrograde, PLUS we have been in the middle of a Geomagnetic Solar (Space) Storm WHICH– (if that wasn’t enough soul shifting energy), the energies of the Full Moon Lunar Eclipse on July 16-17th are flooding in!

Well, what the fuck does that mean in laymen’s terms?

Haha I’m glad you asked because one of my clients asked me the same thing. So I’ll tell you!

All that planetary mumbo jumbo simply means that we have an opportunity to spiritually ascend.

Well wtf does THAT mean?

To spiritually ascend means to spiritually grow.

And to spiritually grow means to take a look at our old patterns, experiences, beliefs, and behaviors that weigh us down and change them into those that truly help us thrive.

We thrive and attract the abundance and love we seek when we are truly aligned with our soul. Our truest, most authentic part of ourselves.

Of course we’ve got tons of bullshit in the way: societal programming, family upbringing, traumatic experiences, old wounds, limiting beliefs, and even harmful behavior and karma that has been passed down to us from our parents through our DNA.


Yes. Okay. 

Some quick science for you:

It has been proven that our cells carry the energy and programming of our bodies. So, if your dad was an alcoholic, that alcoholism gets into his cells and programmed into his DNA. And when he fornicates with your mom to have you, those very same cells are the cells that merge together with your mom’s cells in order to create YOU.

Which means, that you will inherently have a tendency towards consuming lots of alcohol based solely on what the DNA in your cells have been programmed to do via your father’s cells.

Make sense?

Okay good.

SO– as you go through life, you may start to realize that consuming large quantities of liquor does not ever really solve your problems or make your pain go away. And you may start to search for other ways of healing that pain. 

More meditation or yoga. Better diet and exercise. Perhaps some Energy healing. Finding better outlets for your anger. Discovering better ways to soothe the pain from the past.

And then, as you begin to realize that we are all divinely perfect spiritual beings that just need to shed some of this old programming in our cells, and in order to do that you need to purge the past and heal old wounds, you start to change your cellular structure by focusing on this healing and focusing on what it is that you truly want.

Our cells completely change and regenerate every 7 years. (yay science!). SO– WHEN six planets are in retrograde forcing us to revisit and reassess what we are doing and how we are living and what needs to be improved and what needs to be simply released, we may encounter:


Dizziness, fatigue, bloating, pains in the body, flu like symptoms, and even more enhanced psychic insight and powerful vivid dreams.

Why do these symptoms happen?

Because you are literally changing the structure of your DNA with this soul work. By choosing to do the inner work of confronting the past or being faced with an asshole that triggers the fuck out of you and you decide that you are finally done putting yourself in a situation where you are unable to stand up for yourself or speak your truth. 

Those decisions. Those choices to choose a new way of living and being and operating will cause your cells to purge the old programming. Which can feel like the worst detox ever.

And the only true way to move through it without feeling like you are fucking dying is to–


So again, I ask you:


(First thing that popped into your head is probably the right message! #trustyourgut)

For me, it has been to focus on giving myself the love and support that I desire as well as remembering that other people’s behavior and idiotic shit is not my shit. And it doesn’t have to ruin my mood. 

Now, these are big life lessons and messages, so it’s not like it’s gonna magically shift overnight when you have been thinking and believing and operating with these old patterns for your whole life.


SOLUTION: The important thing to do is to give yourself the love and support that you need in order grow. You must take extra good care of your body, your mind, and your soul.

  • Detox and release anything out of alignment
  • quit bad habits
  • detach from anything unhealthy & low vibrational (aka stuff that makes you feel like shit)
  • pay attention to your thoughts (what do you focus your attention on?)
  • drink plenty of water
  • take time out to shake off old energy and other people’s emotions, judgements and moods
  • keep your vibration as calm, clear and high as possible

Doing these things will help you ease the pain of your cells changing and it will also help you integrate these lessons and messages a lot easier.

For example, I woke up the other day in so much physical pain. My feet felt like they were broken and my back was gonna give out. So, I laid in bed, meditated, drank extra fluids, stretched my body gently, and listened for the messages from The Universe. I listened to music that made me feel good and watched some uplifting movies. I channeled messages from The Universe and woke up the next day totally refreshed. Bizzare. But it works! 

BONUS SOLUTION: Channel your messages and lessons from The Universe via automatic writing!

If you’ve never done it before, it’s really fun! Just get out a pen and paper, close your eyes for a minute, breathe, ask The Universe “what message do you have for me? What lesson am I supposed to learn right now?”, and then let your hand write down anything and everything that comes to your mind. Doesn’t have to make sense. Don’t overthink it whether it is The Universe or not. Just write. Stream of consciousness. Write. After you feel like you are done, go back and read what you wrote.

TIP: if you can type on the computer with your eyes closed, you can do automatic writing that way too. I sometimes find that it’s a little easier to do that so my ego brain doesn’t try to figure things out while the messages are pouring in.

Moral of the story: if you have been in some full-blown crisis, take a moment to step back and ask yourself, what is the actual problem here? What is the lesson I need to learn? What is the message The Universe is trying to tell me? Figure that out and you will be in the clear!

If you have problems figuring out what your message is or if you can’t seem to channel clear enough, book a 1:1 session with me! Since the Full Moon eclipse is happening on July 16-17, I’m happy to be of service to you and use my psychic/medium skills to channel those messages for you. It’s honestly one of the funnest things for me to do and I only channel CLEAR AND LOVING GUIDANCE. #alllovehere If that’s something that you are interested in, CLICK HERE to set up a time!


I love you so much.

Take this time do to what is best for you.

Success always starts by saying YES to YOU.