Has your boyfriend/girlfriend been seriously unsupportive lately? And has that been seriously draining on your relationship? If you have been feeling a bit resentful because they will not or refuse to give you the support you need, I feel you! It is the most frustrating thing, but don’t worry– I will tell you where it comes from and how you can fix it!
LACK OF SUPPORT.
Have you ever tried to tell your significant other what you wanted and it fell on deaf ears? Like, they are refusing to listen sympathetically to what you want and are willing to give it to you?
This doesn’t even have to be your significant other. It can even be a friendship.
This has happened to me countless times and it is the most irritating and sometimes hurtful thing that your bf can do.
All anyone really ever wants is to be safe and loved and supported, and especially when you are not getting it, it can cause you to feel insecure. Which then leads to a bit of needy behavior.
Are you guilty of that? Because I certainly am!
So where does the neediness come from?
I mean– DUH– your bf not giving you support triggers it, but let’s go deeper than that. Where REAAAALLY is this feeling of being unsupported coming from?
When we are needy, we are trying to get from someone else what was denied to us in the past.
Read that again.
When we are needy, we are trying to get from others what was denied to us in the past.
Your needs are not wrong. Knowing what your needs and wants are is super important. Being aware of what your needs are allows you to identify what things will make you feel happy and fulfilled.
You just need to go about fulfilling them in the right way.
Even if your boyfriend, husband, or even best friend wishes and wants to be able to provide you with everything that was missing from your childhood, unless the original wound has been sufficiently healed, it won’t matter how much they do for you. It will never be enough. Because that old wound will always want more until it is fully dealt with, processed, and healed.
If you are feeling “needy”, this is your soul telling you that you are operating out of old trauma and not functioning emotionally in present time.
Be willing to give to yourself that which you did not get from your parents during your childhood.
You can’t go back and change the past. You can’t force your parents to love you the way that you needed to be loved back then. But what you can do, is to begin to give yourself all the love and encouragement and support that you did not receive as a child.
This may seem hard at first. Because it is sad to realize that you may not have gotten what you deserved as a kid. That sadness can feel like a loss. And any loss must be grieved in order to heal. In order to fully heal, you must come to a place of acceptance. Not accepting the fact that what they did was OK, but just accepting the fact that it happened. Once you can accept the fact that it happened, then you can start healing this by giving yourself the love, support, and care that you did not get before.
And once you start giving yourself the love, support, and care that you did not get before, you begin to Believe and own the fact that you are indeed worthy of love, and you start to open up yourself to being able to receive (and give) the love that you so dearly desire.
It’s not so much that your boyfriend, husband, partner, or friend is unable to provide those qualities for you as much as it is that you yourself have been denying them for yourself.
Cherish and protect yourself the way your father should have.
Nurture and sooth yourself the way that your mother should have.
Shower yourself now with the unconditional love that you desired and deserved as a child.
It’s time to cut your losses. It’s time to begin giving yourself what you’ve been waiting for someone else to give to you.
This is an opportunity to practice love and kindness and just generosity towards yourself.
Your parents were doing the best they could with what they knew and what they had at the time. Or maybe they weren’t. Regardless, it doesn’t really matter.
What really matters, is that you can give yourself the love and support that they didn’t give you, and you can start giving it to yourself right now. Today. In this very moment. You can change your whole story. Right now. And you can start to infuse your life with love. The more that you start to shower yourself with love and support, the more you’ll attract people who will also give you these amazing things!
5 STEPS TO FULFILL YOUR NEEDS AND GET THE SUPPORT YOU WANT FROM OTHERS
Journal out your childhood experiences with your mom and dad. When did you feel safe with your dad? When did you feel he let you down? When did you trust her to be fair and kind? When did she let you down?
Write a list of things you didn’t get in your childhood. Nurturing? Attention? Protection? Respect of boundaries? Consistency? Dependability? Basic life skills? Basic Hygienic care? Encouragement of your talents? Unconditional love?
Forgive your parents for not giving this to you. You can write a letter and burn it or just declare to The Universe that you now choose to forgive them.
Make a promise to yourself to do your best to give yourself these things from this day forward. Write a promise letter to you yourself. Promise yourself that from this day forward you are going to do your absolute best to give you all the things that you did not receive as a child.
Do one thing today that provides you with the support you were missing as a child. That could be giving yourself a pep talk, congratulating yourself for getting work done, ask a friend to teach you how to set up a budget for your finances, or simply flow some unconditional love to yourself (rose quartz is a great crystal to facilitate that process!)
Once you do this and begin to give yourself what was missing in your childhood, you will start to become an energetic match for the kind of support that you desire, and soon enough, like magic– your bf and important people in your life will magically start giving you that support without you even having to ask. How easy and fun is that?
MY BOYFRIEND/GF/SO/BFF IS SO SUPPORTIVE OF ME AND CONSTANTLY GIVES ME THE LOVE AND SUPPORT I DESIRE EVEN WITHOUT ME ASKING FOR ME.
I AM SAFE.
I AM LOVED.
I AM SUPPORTED.
I AM PROTECTED.
Comment below and let me know how this goes for you and if you have any questions. I am here to support YOU on your journey. And I truly want you to receive the love and support that you deserve and desire!
Need more love/relationship help? Email me to apply for 1:1 coaching. I SLAY at attracting romantic soulmates and would love to help you have the most joyous and harmonious romantic relationship so you can live happily ever after!
Remember– success always starts by saying YES to YOU.
And you DEFINITELY deserve to be loved and supported!